Hello my dear internet friends,
Recently, I had a very interesting experience. I woke up super excited for the day. I accomplished my goal of getting up and going to the gym with one of my friends. I was pretty happy. I fell back to sleep when I got home because I was tired from not going to sleep until late last night. I had work today so I got ready and went. I typically work alone at work and today was no exception. Normally I love this time to think about life and spend time in nature. (I work as a grounds laborer at my apartment complex where I basically rake leave and clean up snow and whatever else they need me to do.) I love the job.
The other day, I started thinking about a fear I have. I thought about it so much that is was becoming almost debilitating. I was working, but I was moving much slower than normal. I didn't know what to do. This lasted a while. Then I started doing something that I was taught recently where I take a couple deep breathes and clear my mind and then I ask the question "what is the number one limiting belief holding me back today?" my first thought was a fear of losing this friend and a fear that is was my fault. Then I thought "Is this serving me?" No! It is not, obviously. I can't even work today like normal. So after that I normally am able to come up with a new belief that serves me more. For example, If I was thinking "I can't do this." That belief is very limiting. My new belief would be "I do amazing things all the time." I tried to come up with a new belief for this fear, but I couldn't figure it out. So I continued to think on this fear and tried to figure out why it was bothering me so much. I realized I had this thought that if this thing I feared happened that it would be my fault. So I looked back to figure out why I thought that. Then I asked myself "Jessalyn, is this really your fault?" I thought about that question for a while.... "Is it my fault?" I asked myself. If someone chooses something, is it my fault they made that choice? No! was the resounding answer that came. So I tried then to come up with a new belief about that and it still wasn't working.
So I changed the subject. I decided those thoughts weren't helping me. Then I started thinking about how I set a goal to write for 2 hours a day to write in either my blogs, or my music, or on a couple fireside/ motivational speeches I am working on. When I thought of this blog I had a thought come to mind. I choose to believe in miracles rather than simply coincidences. That thought was exactly what I needed. Then I kept going. "I choose to believe in God. I choose to believe in a God who loves his children. I choose to believe in choice and accountability. I choose to believe in a God who allows people to make mistakes and learn from them. I choose to believe..... I choose. I choose. I choose!
At that point I realized how empowering the words I choose are. I realized that I can't choose for others, but I can choose for me. I can radiate my faith. I can be a light to those around me. I also realized, no matter what I do, other people still have their choice. Honestly I'm glad. Knowing that anything I do is my choice is so freeing, because if I don't like something about me, guess what? I can change it! Also, knowing that I can't choose for others is also very freeing and empowering. You know that fear I had, It was relating to someone else's choice. I can choose what I will do, but I can't choose what others will do. I can hope that my example inspires them and helps them, but at the end of the day, it is their choice. I can choose to love unconditionally, meaning no matter what I will love them. If someone else does something that could hurt me, it is my choice whether or not it really does hurt me. I don't need to depend on others for how I feel. I choose! This is my life! I choose!
With that choice I choose to hand my life to God and live as He would have me live. I may not be perfect, but with God I know everything will be so amazing in the end. So for now, because I trust in God, I choose to be happy. I choose to believe.
Isn't it amazing how two words can be so empowering? How can knowing that you choose your life empower you to make better decisions. Did you learn anything from this that helped you?
Let me know in the comments below. :)
-I Choose to Believe
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