I would like to start out this letter with a scripture I found recently in my scripture study.
1 Timothy 4:12
Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
This last week was missionary week. If you aren't sure what that is you can read my previous post about it. Basically, it is where a bunch of people, mostly high school students, dressed up as LDS missionaries and used this opportunity to share the gospel with those around them. My brother was the one who challenged me to this and is the reason why wrote about it. I have asked him about his experience during missionary week. I asked him at the end of the first day and then I asked him after it was over. I asked him "What has been your experience so far?" Here is his response from the first day:
Ok, well honestly it has been a lot harder than I ever expected. There are members of the church that put words in our mouth and make it seem like we are mocking our own beliefs by doing this. It's day one and there are 9 people in my school that have accepted this challenge and are dressed as missionaries. While there are several members who put us down, there are several non-members that personally told me that they would much rather come to somebody who is dressed up and taking action for what they believe rather than somebody who is a member, but have too much worry about their ego to dress and say this is who I am and I want to share it with everybody I see and meet.
After the week ended I asked him again what his experience was. Here is his response:
Uhh. It was long and it was hard. Probably the longest week I've had in school, it felt like. Only 1 person other than me kept to it and did it. And others made fun of us, some even told us we were mocking our religion. Not many people understood what we were doing, but several wanted to find out, and several non-members listened to what I had to say. It was not much of a missionary experience for me as it was a growing experience. I grew more than I can say throughout this week and discovered more things about myself than I will even understand enough to say out loud or in words. Throughout the week I could see certain people gain more respect for me that used to look down on me and that was amazing. But most of all I learned how important not just daily prayer, but constant prayer is in our lives. I learned that no matter what time of day, or how small your problem is, God wants to hear it. He wants to listen to everything you have to say. He wants to hear what you've learned and how much you love Him. He also wants to hear about how much pain you're in, or how much you're struggling. He knows all of these things, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to hear it from you. Just like when you make a mistake. He knows, and He has forgiven you already, but He won't forgive you for not ASKING for His forgiveness.
He also sent me a picture.
I loved this so much. As I did my scripture study I found the scripture posted above from 1Timothy 4:12. I think this is an excellent example of "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers..." A few days before my brother told me about the missionary week challenge I had been struggling to feel like I could show my faith and who I am. I don't know how exactly to describe the feeling, but very sad and yucky. As I was thinking about it I had a thought come to mind, "I give myself permission to radiate my faith." Almost immediately I felt this uplifting feeling. I smiled and said it again. "I give myself permission to radiate my faith" Then I changed it to "I choose to radiate my faith." For some reason, I guess I had felt that I couldn't share my faith and beliefs with others, but I changed that. I give myself permission and I choose to radiate my faith." My experience with missionary week was not too much different from my everyday life, but I began to think of ways I could share my beliefs and my story even more fully.
On Sunday, I was studying this scripture in 1 Timothy 4:12 and decided to ask myself how I could more fully "...be an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." I wrote down several ideas in my journal. The next day I went through my youtube and unsubscribed to some of the channels I watch that are not as uplifting and I added a few more that are. I have discovered that when I watch a general conference talk first thing in the morning that I am able to be more awake than normal. I have discovered when I don't spend time writing in one of my blogs or on some of my other projects where I share who I am and my story, I feel incomplete for the day. I have discovered some things I can do in my life to change my schedule and make my life better.
At the end of missionary week, I had the opportunity to share my faith at church through testimony meeting. I was shaking so much, but I was able to state my beliefs more clearly than I ever have. I was able to stand and although part of me wanted to stop and run away, I stood firm. It was a different feeling, a good feeling, but different than I have felt before. Although I have days I want to cry, I know God is there. He strengthens me to do things I never thought I could before. God sends me his strength to overcome and to continue in life when I don't know how. He knows my desires to be better and He helps me to follow through. I am eternally grateful to my Father above. :)
-I choose to Believe
